My completely nitpicky pet peeves (humor)

Quotes. Made in notepad

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Dear fellow geeks, geek leaders, and other random people who read this blog:

This is not a useful post.  This post, in fact, will show you how the inside of my brain works.  It can be a scary, scary place sometimes.  Also?  This isn’t a rant.  This is just nitpicky.  Also probably brought on by lack of sleep.  And it’s supposed to be funny, not cranky.  So if you read it as cranky, oops.

Here goes.  I hate it when you…

  • Change the subject line of the email.  I have multiple reasons for this:
    1. I don’t read subject lines.  I also don’t read chapter titles, article titles, etc.  I don’t know why.  It’s weird.  My husband makes fun of me for it.  So I’m not actually going to SEE what you put in there for my cute little eyes to see.
    2. It breaks my email threading.  I have a strange obsessive behavior that makes me adore my threaded email conversations.  I cuddle up with them at night (no, not really.  If you’re like me and don’t read titles, please go back and note the “humor” thing up top.).
  • Make plurals with apostrophes.  Just please don’t do it.  Unless you like watching me twitch.  In which case you should go ahead and do it, but don’t expect me to buy you a beer.  Ever.
  • Misspell Latin phrases.  If you can’t spell it, don’t use it.  You don’t sound erudite, you just make me twitch.  See previous bullet point about twitching.
  • Hug me.  There are a few non-family members who I don’t mind hugs from (Whose first names pretty much always start with “J”.  No, I don’t know why.), but otherwise, there will be twitching.  But this one doesn’t get you exempted from the beer buying, so this one is a lesser evil in the Jenn hierarchy.
  • Correct my order of punctuation and quotation marks.  Yes, I know I do it “wrong” for American English.  No, I don’t care.  Pthththt.
So, gentle readers, what are your completely ridiculous pet peeves?  (Other than being called “gentle readers”, that is.  I think that one’s weird, but I’m still leaving it in there.)