I once worked for someone whose pattern of rampant dishonesty blew my mind. Shortly after beginning work, I realized two things: Ernie absolutely could not admit that he was wrong, and he consistently lied to everyone around him – coworkers, staff, and users.
You’re just trying to get to a final result, but the other party doesn’t seem to have the foggiest idea how to get there. To add insult to injury, the other party doesn’t accept your way to get there. You end up stuck and frustrated.
An email ruined my weekend. (And I’m still mad.) It was an email filled with extraordinarily useless feedback, including completely false accusations. The person who sent it was so unaware … Continue reading Useless Feedback
It’s easier than you may think to ‘kill’ your managers. I’m personally not the greatest middle manager in the world, but I’m grateful for my time as one, since it … Continue reading Are you killing your managers?
When RecruitLoop and I were in our final stages of negotiating, we started talking about value. About how my primary concern was feeling valued by a company. Talking about value on both sides honestly is probably what got us to the point where we had an agreeable situation for both sides – we knew where we stood, and both sides could see that we considered each other valuable.
The day we got to a verbal agreement, something surprising happened. They asked for my home address (something about lawyers needing it for the docs), and then, a bit later, sent me an email that said:
Ben at the front desk should have something for you (and your husband) tonight :)
Just to set the stage, it had been a crazy day. It was my husband’s birthday, I had a flat tire that I had to replace, I was talking to someone I knew from high school about working at Amazon, and I had just verbally accepted a job offer. When I got the email, I was sitting at my desk playing stupid computer games in order to take a much-needed mental break. I usually wasn’t home that early, but (thanks to the car) I was this time. I looked at my computer in confusion a few times, grabbed my keys, and headed down to the front desk of my apartment building.
As I approached the front desk, Ben (our fantastic concierge) pulled out a wine bag and said, “It’s not from me.”
I may or may not have thanked him. I was shocked. Stunned. I looked in the bag and realized that there was a bottle of Oregon Pinot Noir in it. This meant that they had actually listened to some of our social conversation when I mentioned that wine was one of my hobbies, and that Oregon Pinots were my favorite. And then they had done something that seemed magical – they managed to get a bottle sent to me the very day that I verbally accepted their offer.
To put it mildly, I felt pretty darn valued at that point🙂.
What they don’t know, however (until now, of course), is that this gesture was beyond perfect for me…
At one of my law firms, the management team would constantly talk about what employees wanted. We wanted to figure this out, since it would help with morale and retention. Could we ask the partners to give out bonuses, or would more salary help, or whatnot. During these conversations, I’d always say this:
It would mean more to me if the partners gave me a bottle of wine than a bonus. In giving me a bottle of wine, they’d show that they knew what I valued and demonstrated that they value me in return.
Interestingly, I never got a bottle of wine from the partners. But I got a bottle of wine – my favorite kind, no less – from RecruitLoop. Demonstrate that they value me? Nailed it.
There’s a big lesson in this for me. It’s that it’s really not that costly to truly show employees that you value them. It takes attention and a little bit of time, but it’s not that hard. And while it may not be hard, showing value goes a really long way.
I was recently reading an article about why Agile implementations are failing (yes, I’m a total geek), and it got me thinking about safety. I haven’t thought much about safety explicitly (beyond being an Amazon Safety Czar for my floor, which is different from emotional safety – I have a bright orange vest :)), but now I realize how important it is for your team to feel emotionally safe at work.
If your staff doesn’t feel safe, things might get pretty rough.
- They won’t trust you or your company. Everything you ask them or tell them goes under a skeptical magnifying glass and is hyper-analyzed. They may become hyper-critical
- They’ll probably start looking to leave. Honestly, the moment I stop trusting my company, I brush up my LinkedIn profile and start checking TheLadders for likely postings.
- They’ll stop telling you things that have gone wrong. They’ll be scared of your reaction and will delay telling you any bad news for as long as possible. For me, this is a nightmare situation, because I sincerely value the opportunity to work through issues WITH my team.
I’ve been thinking of ways to identify when folks don’t feel safe, and I’ve come up with the following:
- Defensiveness. A few years ago, I found myself getting weirdly defensive whenever I received any feedback. I thought I’d gotten beyond a lot of defensiveness in college, but it was back with a vengeance. In retrospect, I firmly believe it was because I had stopped feeling safe with my boss. Because I expected to be attacked, I responded defensively to everything.
- Lack of communication. Sure, sometimes folks are just quiet, but if you start not finding out about things that go wrong until MUCH LATER than they knew, guess what’s probably happening?
- Work ethic nosedive. Heaven knows, I have no issue with Facebook use at work, but if a geek stops producing and never seems to be looking at work stuff, you probably have a problem. It’s most concerning to me when I see a shift and can’t come up with a reason for it (e.g., burnout or home “stuff”), since it could be a safety issue.
- Crankiness. Do you have a geek who just seems to be a sourpuss? Okay, so they might just have dealt with a cranky user, but ongoing crankiness may be a sign of a safety issue.
I haven’t been thinking about this issue for long, so I’m sure I’ve missed things. What other safety warning signs are there?
A few years back, I realized I was killing my staff.
I thought I had found the ultimate in productivity. In order to manage my completely ridiculous inbox, I found a system. Each night, I’d leave the office late and go wait for the bus. While I was waiting, I would use my trusty Blackberry to clear out my inbox. I would merrily send emails as follow-ups, delete things, and set myself up for a pretty darn productive next day. Hey – I’ve always loved the concept of Inbox Zero (even though practicing it in Outlook is pretty much impossible). This made me, well, happy.
I’d go home, make (well, order) dinner, and relax, knowing that I was prepared for the next day.
And then something really annoying would start happening – my Blackberry would start going off. My team, fresh from their own dinners, would start replying to my email. Being a rather Type A personality, I’d then feel the need to read the email, which kind-of messed with my evening, but I got enough email from others that it didn’t mess it up that much. I’d ignore the email until the next day (except for urgent ones), and go to bed.
The next morning, I’d walk into the office, perfectly chipper because I knew what my day entailed. On my way to my office, I’d do my usual check-ins with my team (my office was at the end of the hall, so I did morning drive-bys).
Oddly, I found exhausted people who would immediately ask me if their response was OK, or expect me to have responded to their responses.
Sometimes I can be a bit slow, but after a few weeks (months?), I realized that my team was stressed and becoming less productive. I eventually even realized it was my fault. When I was replying to email after hours, they assumed I expected them to do the same. Sadly, they were already working enough, and I wasn’t expecting it. But I was the manager, and that’s what I was doing.
So I stopped. It was downright painful to have to come in each morning with a full inbox and deal with things I could have dealt with the night before, but the change in my staff was worth it. Their stress levels went down, they eased into their mornings, and they became more productive because they stopped working stupidly.
Here’s the thing with being a manager – YOU are the mold. You are what your team attempts to replicate. If you work stupidly, they work stupidly. If you work late, they work late. If you answer email at all hours, they answer email at all hours.If you manage stupidly, you’ll eventually kill them with stress. Or at least lose them to your competitors.
It’s easy to manage stupidly. Are you managing stupidly without realizing it?